~thanks to Stan Kegel

John Edwards announced that he will not accept the nomination ore ida fries for vice president. He will not accept the vice presidential nomination. To which the cashier at Wendy’s said, “You want a frosty with this or not?” ~Jay Leno
Earlier tonight, all three presidential candidates appeared ore ida fries on “American Idol.” Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell, looked at them and said, “Wait – there’s a black guy, a white woman, and a cranky guy. You stole our formula.” ~Conan O’Brien
This week Madonna ore ida fries announced that she’s going to adopt a child from India. She already has one from Africa. When she heard about it, Angelina Jolie called Madonna and said, “I’ll see your India and raise you a Thailand.” ore ida fries ~Conan O’Brien
All three presidential candidates, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John McCain, appeared on a special “American Idol.” Not to be outdone, ore ida fries Ralph Nader made a special surprise appearance on “The Biggest Loser.” ~Jay Leno
John McCain does not use Secret Service protection. He hasn’t been using it. He has his own people. In fact, do you know what you call those six guys that surround John McCain all the time? Pallbearers. ~Jay Leno
A fire burned Hillary Clinton’s campaign office in Terre Haute, Ind. I knew Hillary’s campaign was facing financial trouble but when you’re burning the building down for the insurance money, that’s not a good sign. ~Jay Leno
S & T Sexy Women Cum, join in and see hot, sexy women teasing you. Get 5 pictures of women non-nude ore ida fries (but close) sent to your inbox a few times a week. To join, send a blank e-mail to sandt_sexywomen-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or check out the home page at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sandt_sexywomen Must be 18 or older to join
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Steven Segal is blaming the FBI for ruining his movie career. He said he’s not getting ore ida fries the movie roles that he wants because of a false FBI investigation. The FBI issued a response and said, “It is our job to stop people from making bombs.”
It was following the resurrection and disciples were still some- what scattered about Jerusalem and the surrounding villages. John finds Peter and runs up to him. Excitedly he says, “Peter, Peter! I’ve got some good news and some bad news.” Peter takes ahold of John and calms him down. “Take it easy, John. What is it? What’s the good news?” John says, “The good news is Christ is risen.” Peter says, “That’s great! But, what’s the bad news?” John, looking around, says, “He’s really steamed about last Friday.”
“I have an idea,” the minister said. “Take this baby pin with you. I’ll be able to tell when your wife is asleep and I’ll motion to you to give her a good poke in the leg.”
~thanks to Stan Kegel
The judge asked the woman why she wanted a divorce, since there was no sign that the husband was cruel, or wandering, or any of the usual things that lead to this situation. The woman replied ore ida fries that she was seeking the divorce on grounds of hobosexuality. The judge, trying ore ida fries to stifle his laughter, asked, “Don’t you mean homosexuality? ” “No!” she replied, “I mean hobosexuality. .. he’s a bum fuck!”
Sex is a very embarrassing name, but I never knew HOW embarrassing until one day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for him. A police officer came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o’clock in the morning. I said, ‘I was looking for Sex.’
One day I went to City Hall to get a license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted, I told him I wanted a license for Sex. He said ‘I would like to have one too !’ When I said ‘But this is a dog,’ he said he didn’t care what she looked like. Then I said, ‘You don’t ore ida fries understand. I’ve had Sex since I was two years old.’
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding. I said, ‘But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around Sex.’
He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in a church. I told him everyone coming to the wedding would enjoy having Sex there. The next day we were married by the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church.
My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the motel I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and myself and a special room for Sex. The clerk said that every room in the Motel is for sex. Then I said, ‘You don’t understand. Sex keeps m